Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-26983547-20180913194343/@comment-26983547-20190530022848

Today I went to see Frozen on Broadway plus I had rehearsal for my recital, so alas, here is....

THE JOKENING: Episode 1

Season 14 of The Jokening has just begun. The new judges are what seem to be a blonde girl who fills in her eyebrows too much and an african american woman who is married to some lousy football.... i mean basketball..... player. The show is being hosted by a man who compares himself to yogurt all over his social media and our two returning judges are an old guy whos wife is way too young for him and an ex-germaphobe. Let the fun begin!

The day started with young Sophiana Pecorina. Her real name is Sophie Pecora but her sugar daddy made her change it because it was "too fat" of a name. When Sophiana walked on stage, she tripped a total of four times before getting to the mic. Ms. Union even pulled out her Juul because she began to get tired of it. By the time Sophiana got to the mic, Julianne had kept repeating the line "Get off the stage, this is not Sea Worlds got talent" because she had recently been diagnosed with dimensia. Sophiana was not offended by this and started to strip off her clothes because of how confident she was with her size. Sophiana left the stage during the middle of her performance because she got bored of it and nobody cared to even watch it.

The next performance was from 22 year old Kodi Lee. Kodi is blind and autistic, but Howie did not seem to know what those two words meant. As Kodi entered the stage and his mom began to describe how Kodi is blind as had autism, Howie started frantically screaming and ran out of the theater because he thought blindness was a contagious virus that he could catch. A few overweight moms and children also ran out of the theater because they hadnt gotten their children vaccines for this. Kodi ended up crying and was escorted off the stage by paramedics who were wearing oxygen masks because they thought that they would catch "blindness".

The third performance of the night was from V.Unbeatable, a dance crew from India. When they told Julianne that they were from India, she questioned why their skin was so dark because of the cold winter seasons in Indiana. The dance crew then tried to clarify that they were from India, not Indiana but Julianne insisted that they were delusional and they had no right to correct her when they live in slums and are not educated. Simon gave the act the golden buzzer just to stop the bickering between the two.

The fourth performance of the night was magician Cire Neihc. Cire had changed his name from Eric because he did not want international fans to recognize that he was the winner of the other AGT. When Simon asked him what his name was he immediately started performing because he was anxious. Every time he made a card disapeer, he would make an insult about the panelists/host. His most notable one was to Julianne when he said "Hey Jules, you know Dancing With The Stars? If you were still on it they would change the name "Dancing With The Porn Stars." The audience was shocked that someone actually mentioned Juliannes leaked sex tape scandal. Julianne confessed to the audience in shame that it was true, and that she was going to kill herself right then so nobody would find out. Julianne then went in the Human Fuses rocket and yeeted herself to death.

The final performance of the night was superstar Jackie Fabulous. Jackie walked onstage and as soon as Howie saw her, he told Gabrielle "The bigger the hoops the bigger the hoe, and that is one big hoe walking on to this stage." Little did Howie know that his mic was on and that the whole studio heard what he said. Jackie still continued on with her act but randomly started crying in between for some reason. She said that it was because "Her nails werent long enough to look presentable onstage" but it turns out it was because she got an STD from Tyra Banks, which is why Tyra left this season knowing that Jackie would be a contestant. Jackie then attemped to show everybody what the STD looked like by going up to each individual person in the theater but people began to kill themselves by jumping off the mezzanine so she stopped. All 4 judges and the host gave her a GB just because they knew she had to be good in bed if she had sex with Tyra.

Stay tuned for nexts week episode of The Jokening right here on the Joke Predictions thread!