Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-26983547-20180913194343/@comment-32239636-20190605154911

DILDOS GOT NO TALENT SEASON 14 EPISODE 2 SPOILERS!!!!1!11!!!1!
 * Jonathan Burns - He walks on the stage speaking only in French before proceeding to do his act. He pops his arm out of his socket and it falls off, before taking his other arm and knocking the other judges out unconscious with it.
 * Benicio Bryant - When he walks onstage, all the judges assume he’s a “she”. The argument goes on for a long time before Benicio pulls down his pants and flashes the audience. He gets buzzed off before Brandi Carlisle herself gets pooped out of Terry and hits the golden buzzer.
 * Emerald Belles - Forgot their costumes so they do the routine naked. 4 buzzers are coming but their Karen moms sue the judges for child support so they get accepted. A kid in the audience shoved himself up his moms butt during the performance to hide the trauma.
 * Messoudi Brothers - Sing “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross before giving Terry and Andy Samberg lap dances. During this whole time, Duo Transcend is making out in the background because they forgot to leave the theater after the Season 13 finale. They got 4 yesses from the judges but they all had to go to rehab with Mel B.
 * Bir Khalsa Group - Spawns a Sikh army and they knock out everyone with hammers before whacking each other in the nuts with metal poles like they did on Slovakia’s Got Talent. Because everyone is unconscious, no one voted, thus they didn’t advance. Also they all died at the end
 * GFORCE - They realize that they’ll never be anything good so they give up and call themselves the Kidz Bop Kids. No one is able to tell the difference, and 4 buzzers. Their Karen moms straight up give the judges CTE, and GFORCE automatically wins the show, and Champions Season 2.
 * Adaline Bates - Sings a song called “Blast From The Past” in which she revealed she is really Prince Poppycock. However, she falls of the stage and dies, so the judges don’t judge the act. However, Heidi and Mel B judge the act at home, and get sent back to rehab for it.
 * Ryan Niemiller - Sings a song called “Under The Sea” in which he reveals he is Sebastian The Crab. However, Simon critiques him for bullying crabs but Ryan isn’t joking. The pinches simons penis and then the whole theatre is lit in flames and everyone dies.
 * Light Balance Kids - Didn’t get to perform due to dying during Ryan’s fire.
 * Nicholas Wallace - He and The Sacred Riana were the only ones who actually survived the fire, so they awkwardly made out and left. They were later arrested and plead guilty for having sex in public.
 * Joseph Allen - Didn’t get to perform due to dying during Ryan’s fire.

COMING NEXT WEEK - A KID VIOLINIST WHO SNAPS HIS OWN NECK