Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-26983547-20180913194343/@comment-32239636-20190529172000

Failure’s Got Talent Episode Uno


 * Greg Morton - Decides to make sex noises, pregnancy noises, and birth noises. Simon, Gabby, and Howie all hit their buzzers but Julianne doesn’t because she is too afraid to. She then gets sent off to rehab in London with Mel B before coming back for Eric Chien.
 * Eric Chien - Sings an original song called “No, I Am Your Father” in which he reveals he is the father of Shin Lim, and the mother is The Sacred Riana. The three of them proceed to make out together onstage while Howie and Simon masturbate and Gabby and Julianne hide under the table in Mel B’s makeshift rehab. They got 69 yeses and 420 buzzers.
 * Sophie Pecora - Sings a song but accidentally slips out saying the N word. She gets 4 buzzers, but Shister Shane comes out of some audience member’s mouth and sues the judges for $69,420,219 and loses. They then proceed to become cancelled with Shister James, Tfue, and KSI
 * Monkey - Deactivates the buzzers and proceeds to show his penis and masturbates naked on stage whilst having a seizure. Everyone in the solar system is then sent to rehab with Mel B.
 * Patrizio - Sings a song called “Barbie Grillz” in which he reveals he is Haspop, the son of Aqua and Nicki Minjah. He then breaks into dance but his neck pops out of his socket, killing him, although no one noticed.
 * V. Unbeatable - Say That they are only there because they ate Zurcaroh and then proceeded to sing T-Series songs. PewDiePie and his 9 year old army nuke the theater.
 * Jackie Fabulous - Sings an original song called “Switched”, where she reveals she is just transracial Vicki Barbolak and Attempts to eat Monkey’s penis but she chokes and dies, even though she proceeded to trace simons body.
 * Gingzilla - Becomes a death metal rapper and sings “Rap God” by 3pac. He gets the golden buzzer from Heidi at her couch at home.
 * Human Fuse - Shoots himself out of a catapult and flies right into the sun, Singing the entirety of the “Rent” Original Broadway Cast Recording before melting like the wicked witch of the southeast.
 * Kodi Lee - He isn’t actually the way he is, he is just the remains of Courtney Hadwin. He sings “River Deep Mountain High” before dying.