Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-26983547-20180913194343/@comment-32239636-20190613152006

AGT: THE TOENAILS WEEK TREE
 * Marina Mazepa - Does back rolls repeatedly until she snaps her neck and dies. It takes the judges and the audience upwards to 30 minutes o realize because Sophie Fatu has replaced everyone’s brains with bubble gum, and the FBI had to undo it all.
 * Dom Chambers - He does the same exact trick that we all saw, but he takes the judges backstage. A good 4 years later, the FBI finds their alcohol infested skeletons in the Dunkin’ Lounge.
 * Carmen Carter - Sings a song called “A Song” in which she reveals that she is a singer. She gets buzzed off.
 * Edson and Leon - The old guy has a fatal heart attack, so the younger guy stands there because he didn’t feel like having a funeral, all while “For The Damaged Coda” plays in the background. He gets 4 standing ovations and Simon claims “That was the most heartbreaking and beautiful performance I’ve ever seen in my life”.
 * Sethward - Does his walrus act and gets heaping praise from the entire world, he becomes the world’s biggest celebrity and wins the show. Howie calls it a “Susan Boyle moment”, and Susan Boyle herself adopted the Sethward religion.
 * Charlotte Summers - After her performance, Howie hits his buzzer. He calls Charlotte “Literally Courtney Hadwin without the dancing and the seizures”. Charlotte gets so mad that the sends the GFORCE girls, who have turned into guinea pig spies, into a crusade on Howie. He dies and Charlotte is named a world hero and the second in command of the Sethward religion. Howie’s body is sent to rehab in London with Mel B.
 * Kevin Schwartz - His act consists of just standing there doing nothing. The judges didn’t verdict him as they fell asleep. Kevin went back home afterwards. Press F to pay respects for Kevin.
 * MacKenzie - Sings a song called “Emerging From Below the Little Red Corvette”, in which he reveals he is a Sethward religionist who visits Prince, his old bandmate, in the Purple Afterlife daily. Not one dry eye was left in the audience, and Simon pressed the Golden Buzzer, sending him to the Top 2.
 * Yurian Retriever - Dances around in her U.S.A. spandex yelling “JULAIN IS MY IDOL”, and Julianne accidentally hits the Golden Buzzer with her head whilst trying to pass herself out. Yurian gets so happy that she takes off the spandex and runs around nude for 30 minutes before going to rehab with Mel B.
 * Michael Paul - He quits and leaves the theater because the judges kept confusing him for Paul Zerdin.
 * Tyler Butler-Figueroa - His act is going well until his neck brutally snaps. Despite his death, he didn’t stop playing the violin. With however, due to restless reg syndrome.

NEXT WEEK: THIS IS AMERICA