Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-26983547-20180913194343/@comment-31233050-20180922000007

MikeyIsBae wrote: AGT: THE HOUSEWIVES OF HOLLYWOOD SEASON 1

WELCOME BACK TO THE HOUSEWIVES OF HOLLYWOOOOOOOOD! Im your host tyRAAAA BAnks! todays episode will introduce you to our housewives, their spouses, and their families. lets get started

1. Makayla Phillips: Makayla lives behind the "L" of the Hollywood sign because she considers herself a loser. She lives with her husband of 13 years, Daniel Emmet, whomst she married at the age of 16! Rumor has it, she concieved all 4 of her children backstage in the Dunkin Lounge!

2. Darci Lynne: Darci Lynne is happily married to Merrick Hanna and they have 1 boy and 1 girl named Miracle and Derek. Darci has put on a shocking 423 pounds since being on the show, and decided to pursue a carrer of selling Juuls at the local 7-11. Merrick has a dad bod and watches ESPN everynight before sucking on Darcis toes while the children are sleeping.

3. Courtney Hadwin: Courtney came out as lesbian in 2024 and married Jurnee from American Idol. Courtney now has dreadlocks and works in a vegas show called "Les-bi-honest: A new Musical." Jurnee is a nanny for Makayla Phillips 4 daughters, and is rumored to have thrown one down the stairs in a potato stack.

4. Hans: Hans married Kenichi Ebina in 2028. It is rumored that they are both "very good in bed" because of their extensive dance skills. Hans works at a cafe in which he performs the same drag routine every week. Nobody shows up ever.

5.  Celine Tam: She is perhaps the most successful of all the housewives. She married Jeffery Li AT AGE 12 and had quadruplets at age 14. The two girls were named "Fuck" and "AGT" while the two boys were named "Terroist" and "Attack"! Celine is a soccer mom who claims "Terrorist scored 51 goals on Saturday, HEAR MY ROARRRRRRR"

6. Michael Ketter: Michael ended up adopting all the kids in Zurcaroh and all the kids in Voices of Hope. He is now in jail for selling child pornography to Emily West and Mara Justine, 2 of his wives who he was married to at the same time.

7. Angelica Hale: The now famous pop singer has come out with three albums titled "Kitty Gorlz 4 Life", "Fish Finger Friday", and "Death". She lives in a graveyard and worships satan daily.

8. Heidi Klum: Is currently missing. Rumor has it The Olate Dogs kidnapped her, raped her, and ATE HER ALIVE. She hasnt been seen since April 20th, 2020.

9. Vicki Barbolak: The gap in her teeth has now expanded to be wider than her lifespan. She gossips at the pool everyday about how she wants to drown herself in it. She is now called Trailer Trashy instead of Trailer Nasty.

10. Emily West: The best one was saved for last. Emily is transgender and often switches between genders everday. She is married to Michael Ketterer and just uses him so she can get the child porn. She ways 712 pounds and is highly suicidal. I'M CRYING LOLLLLL